Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Can you spot the lie?

MY NEW COMPUTER! It is shiny and fast, and all of my digital photos are like tiny drops in its enormous bucket of space. And even though it's not as good as the full power Photoshop that I used to be a pro with, at least I have Elements to play around with to remind me of what I used to do for a living.

Oh, god, remember that? Yeah, I used to work at a printing company, in prepress. I started off as a plate maker and film stripper. That was such a delightful little job title that allowed me to call up my mother from across the country, after she had been worrying about me and I had been worrying about me, and we had moved into a house with two lovely flakes--one of whom worked a job he loved for two months without getting paid for it, the other worked like fifteen jobs in those two months, quitting each one after less than two days--and David and I were jobless for so long. Jobless and broke.

So I call my mom, ecstatic, "Mom! I finally got a job!"

She is all halleluiah (oh, crap, is that how it's spelled?), wonderful, oh I was so worried, what kind of job did you get?

"I'm a stripper!" Gleefully, you see.

Shocked silence. Would she have to fly across the country and...what? Take me over her knee? Ground me?

"Ha!" I let her off the hook pretty quickly. "A film stripper!"

Anyway, that was a fun job while it lasted, but they noticed I was smart (I don't hide it very well at times, but I'm learning, as time goes on) and started having me do little jobs on the computer. Some type-setting, a little simple preflight, eventually I was handed an entire wheelbarrow full of transparencies of watercolor paintings to scan and color correct. Before too long, I was learning all the programs and doing almost all of the in-house design work.

Too bad they still paid me like a stripper, but it helps me make worksheets now that I'm back to teaching! And it gives me a good story to tell my students on my Introduction to Language Arts day when we play the game Two Truths and a Lie.

Can you spot the lie?
1. Ms. Lissnkids has eaten rattlesnake.
2. Ms. Lissnkids used to work as a stripper.
3. Ms. Lissnkids had a naked wedding reception.

No, just kidding, that last one is true, but I don't tell them that.

6 comments:

cowpops said...

lol.

I skimmed the post and saw the two-truths-and-a-lie-thing, and I jumped up and down screaming, "I KNOW, I KNOW!" It was kind of a comical sight, as I'm the only one awake in my house, and I probably shouldn't be on here. =\

ah, good times.

Shana said...

I told you that you'd get the computer sooner! Yay!

One of these days I need to tie you down and make you teach me out to use Elements. I am just not getting the whole layers thing.

CDP said...

I heard that rattlesnake tastes like chicken. I hope never to find out if that's actually true.

Mary B said...

yay for new computers and rattlesnakes! ...er...

something like that. Just think, you can STILL include "stripper" on your resume.

That's another Yay!

Hawkfeather said...

there is endless comedic value in that job title.

liss n kids said...

cowpops, yeah, fun game. Lots of shocked faces in the classes. Probably gonna get in trouble one of these days for walking the line of appropriateness.

shana, YAY on my computer. I haven't had even the tiniest second to look at Elements and see if it's even minorly close to the Photoshop of the Dark Ages that I learned how to use...

cdp, my step-dad concurs with what you have heard. He has tried it. He said it was funny because all the steaks were so...round.

mary b., hey, welcome to my blog! I haven't updated my resume in like eight years, but if I do, that baby is ON IT!

hawkfeather, welcome to you, too! Yeah, it's pretty perfect.