Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Calling all tooth fairies!

(the lazy dialogue posts continue)

Jabber lost his first tooth!

I was the devious mom: Ooh, lemme see! Wow, that's really loose. Do you want me to pull it out?

Jabber: Nooooo, I don't want it to hurt. Maybe it will fall out tomorrow.

Me: But it's barely hanging by a thread!

Jabber: We'll just let it hang there.

Me: Okay, but I'm kind of worried it will fall out in your sleep and then you could swallow it! Do you want a tooth in your tummy? *tickles his tummy* Tooth Tummy!

Jabber:, I do not want a tooth tummy. But I don't want you to pull it out. It will hurt.

Me: Okay, well, here. I'll just sort of dry it off with this washcloth, and then you'll be able to get a good grip on it and wiggle it better, okay?

Jabber: Okay!

Me: All right, open up...WOOHOO! There's your tooth!

Jabber: MOM! Did you pull it out? That hurt!

Me: But there's your tooth!

Jabber: *giggles* MY TOOTH!

We've actually had a week of firsts, but I haven't had much time to write about them. Jabber and Monkey went to their first Haunted House last weekend, at a pumpkin patch party in one of our local parks. That was the first time that Av had a motorized ghost get stuck in his hair, and the first time that Jabber had to lead the way through a dark, scary maze with Zombies jumping out at him. It was also the first time that Jabber had someone enthusiastically hand him a Snickers Bar, and the first time he realized that not all Halloween candy has been carefully de-peanutized and approved beforehand by his mother. Of course, the candy was whisked away into my pocket, and we tried to stay cool as all the little children in the area snarfed their Snickers all around us like allergen death traps.

It was also the first time I took both boys out to eat at a real restaurant all by myself, and the first time they were able to demonstrate proper manners in a really impressive way. Granted, there was a tricky moment there when Monkey decided that he didn't really want the quesadillas he ordered, and instead the pancakes that Jabber had ordered looked far more appetizing. But it was the first time, when confronted with such a dilemma, that Jabber stepped up to the plate and generously offered part of his pancakes, which, along with my dinner roll slathered in strawberry jelly, was enough to appease the small sticky boy with the loud voice, and we made it out of the restaurant without any scenes.

I personally had my first time with general anesthesia as I had my wisdom teeth out, and the first time in a long time that I've had four days off of work in a row. I thought maybe it would be quiet time to get my book reports graded and maybe catch a nap or two (this pain medicine makes me sooo sleeeeeeepy), but this morning Monkey woke up and decided to be the FIRST of our family to get the dreaded flu, times!

And my final first of the week: filling out my first conference sign-up form...I mean, from this end of the transaction, anyway! How exciting!

Not a great photo, but my battery died on the camera and this was all I got, but here are the kids feeling like superheroes after conquering the haunted maze!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

more jabbering

Jabber: I DON'T LIKE LENTILS. I'm not eating them.
Me: Okay, but that's your lunch. So if you don't eat them, you'll be hungry.
Jabber: I'm going to eat jelly toast instead.
Me: Too bad no one is giving you jelly toast until the lentils are gone.
Jabber: unnnnnnghhhmmmamaaahhh!
Me: Not to mention licorice.
Jabber: WHAT? LICORICE? You know what, Mom? I can just turn off my tongue. I mean, I could slurp these lentils right into my mouth, and my mouth would just not taste them anymore. *slurps*
Me: I don't care if you taste them, as long as you eat them.
Jabber: I'm eating them!
*ten minutes pass*
Jabber: I'm full, Mom. My stomach just told me it can't hold another bite.
Me: Oh, did you finish your lentils?
Jabber: Well, no. Because my body is telling me that it's too full for one more bite. I might explode, Mom.
Me: Oh, good. Then I won't have to get up and make jelly toast. Or get licorice.
Jabber: But Mom. Didn't you know I have two stomachs? Like remember when I told you I had two stomachs, one for food and one for liquids? That wasn't real. ACTUALLY I have two stomachs, but one is for sugar and one is for non-sugar. Lentils go into the non-sugar stomach. Even if there's natural sugar, that falls into my non-sugar stomach. But my sugar stomach is completely empty. It wants licorice.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Both of my children can recite Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are by heart, but I'm hesitant to take them to the new movie for fear it will give Jabber nightmares.

I think it's sort of telling about their personalities that Monkey likes to go to sleep at night while snuggling this book, There's Something in my Attic, by Mercer Mayer. He stares at the illustrations in the dim spill of light from the mostly closed bathroom door and talks softly to the monster while he falls asleep.

Across the room, Jabber huddles around his nightlight and complains about the book. "It makes me so nervous," he says. "I'm just going to look at my pillow." He buries his face in the pillowcase and tries hard not to think about the attic above his head.

It constantly surprises me how alike and different my two children can be, how they complement each other and how they contrast.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dear Mister President

Jabberwock is makin' money. Of course the neurotic parent inside me hopes that this is not a telling side-effect of his deep anxiety caused by listening to David and I discuss our own personal budget shortcomings, but if it is, I suppose we'll have to work a therapist into our budget somewhere down the line. As it is, I suspect he's mostly thrilled to have mastered the concept of the tens and ones place and almost mastered the skill of writing the number five in a consistently non-backwards way.

Also he likes to cut things into little pieces.

Anyway, after he made a set of prototype currency featuring simply the denominations in green marker (including the rare but very useful $1,004-dollar-bill), he decided to battle the threat of counterfeiters by adding an image.

Specifically, the image of our U.S. president.

He churned out about a dozen bills with the image of President "BarackObama" artistically rendered in green, mostly with his mouth open in a giant grimace of executive enthusiasm. Then, if you look at the bill in the center of the photo, he tried something new.

"Mom?" Jabber looked up from where he was sprawled on the living room rug. "President BarackObama has a mustache, right?"

"No, he does not."

"Oh." He considered his drawing. "Well, he should. He'd look good with a mustache."


(I know, I know. I've been slipping again in my bloggy resolve. I've considered blogging about my to-do list, but you know, seriously, it's depressing...)