The Toilet Mystery

Not much time tonight to write, but I had a couple of silly things happen this morning while getting ready for work, and I thought perhaps I'd start an occasional series here--things I never anticipated about motherhood. Nothing so profound, you understand, just the strange and goofy things that I didn't know would ever be a part of my life, like the fact that any time I open one of the doors on my minivan, I leave a small sprinkling of stale Cheerios behind. For the birds, I tell Jabberwock. Or like the fact that I'm driving a minivan, for that matter.

So this morning when I got out of bed I really had to use the bathroom. Monkey was nursing like some kind of addict all night, including straight through about three snoozes, and by the time he was ready to back off and let me have my boobs back, I had to pee like crazy. So I run into the bathroom, only to find that the toilet is...full. This was not yellow, nor was it mellow. I was puzzled and irritated by this uncharacteristic act of my husband, and I impatiently pulled down the handle to flush, only to find that nothing was going down, but more water was pouring in. The level of the contents of my toilet was rising alarmingly! Simultaneously gagging, wiggling, and panicking, I reached behind the toilet for the plunger, and soon the problem was solved. Not even a single splash. It wasn't until I had relieved myself and was scrubbing the skin off of my hands that I remembered the sound of Monkey playing in the bathroom last night as I was getting Jabber ready for bed. Sounds like the lid of the toilet slamming. And I wonder...what exactly did he flush? When will I discover its absence? What are the odds that it has now passed safely through the plumbing, never to bother us again? The Toilet Mystery--one thing I did not anticipate about motherhood.